What A Cat-ché
by Who Needs A Pen Name Anyway
Summary: All Gale wanted to do was shut up the neighbor's hellhound so her housemate wouldn't wake up. She hadn't meant to adopt ten kittens and turn both their lives upside down, and she certainly hadn't meant to become a fanfiction cliche. Wasn't she too old for this? [Rated for coarse language; possibly subject to change.]
1. We Are Not Naming Our Cat Jaws

**Disclaimer: **All things Naruto belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Note:** May contain hints of Kakuzu/OC, Zetsu/OC, and Pein/Konan.

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><p>Gale Curtis woke suddenly, bolting upright and feeling a sudden jolt of panic, because she didn't know what had startled her awake and this was certainly not her bed. The panic vanished almost as quickly as it had come as she realized she was sitting in her favorite lazy boy, and the noise that had shocked her awake was the neighbor's dog having some sort of fit and not a serial killer creeping up on her. She fumbled in the dark until she found her phone on the coffee table and turned it on. The tiny white numbers indicated it was 4:17, and she scowled. What the hell was that stupid mutt barking at? If he kept it up he'd wake up the whole damn neighborhood, and while she didn't care much for most of her neighbors, she knew her housemate was curled up in bed upstairs trying to recover from a double shift. Alice Devereux was one of Gale's three weaknesses, so as much as she wanted to pop in some headphones, crank up a white noise app, and ignore the mutt, Gale rolled off the chair and marched to the door.<p>

Now, the sizable family home the pair were renting to own from Alice's Aunt Becka had once sat on an obscene amount of gorgeous empty space. Unfortunately, a lot of that land had been sold so the building of the house could be financed. They still owned a decent sized chunk of forest and a skinny strip of yard that connected it to the house, but just a few feet to the left of the back door was the property line that separated their yard from the Beckermans. The Beckermans had decided the best place to chain up their monstrous Saint Bernard was as physically close to the property line as possible, despite Gale repeatedly reminding them how much she hated dogs; the moment Gale took half a step out the door she was facing an extremely large and extremely aggravated dog, and to make things even better, she was instantly drenched in rainwater.

"God damn it, Knick Knack, shut the hell up!" She shouted, but it didn't do her much good. Knick Knack continued to howl and paw at the Beckerman's side deck. Realizing he must have chased something under, Gale scowled again, because she liked cats and squirrels a whole lot more than she did dogs - especially this one. She picked up a rock, bouncing it a few times to make sure it wasn't really going to hurt him, because that was a headache she didn't need, and chucked it at him. "Knick Knack, leave it, now!"

The dog yelped when the rock bounced off his shoulder and took several steps back. The poor furry creatures he'd cornered took advantage of the situation and bolted out from under the deck - and right between Gale's legs.

"Hey!" Gale said, startled to see what appeared to be a lot of very dirty kittens flying into her house and sliding on the slick wooden floor. Sure she wanted to save them from Knick Knack, but that didn't mean she was inviting them into her house! She didn't really have an opportunity to tell them to get out, though, because Knick Knack snarled and leapt for her. Of course the dog's chain kept him from reaching her, but she still shrieked and slammed the door shut.

"I swear to god if they don't move that stupid mutt to the other side of their yard I'm going to kill them!" Gale shouted, before remembering the entire reason she'd gone out there was so her housemate wouldn't wake up. Oops. Sighing heavily, she turned her attention to her uninvited guests, who had scattered about the living room. They all looked to be in various levels of freaked-the-fuck-out mode, not that she could blame them, and were caked in mud that left tiny tracks all over the place.

She knelt down in front of her couch, which was thankfully a dark enough shade of brown that she didn't have to worry about stains, and wiggled her fingers in an attempt to lure out the pair of kittens that were hiding there. Almost immediately a tiny head popped out, staring at her with one big red eye. The other one didn't seem to open - poor thing.

"That's a good boy." Gale cooed, and with a delighted meow the kitten shot out and leapt right into her lap. She couldn't help smiling - kittens were her second weakness. Ignoring the mud caked in his fur, she scratched behind his ear, making him purr. The second kitten stuck his head out from under the couch and hissed, but was ignored. Gale tried to pet him too, but he swatted at her if she moved her hand too close.

"Well, someone's in a mood. Now, I need to think of something to do with you before - "

"Gale?"

Gale winced, though the voice was soft and a little sleepy and about as unthreatening as a voice could get. Damn, she'd hoped Alice had slept through all the fuss. She hadn't even heard her on the stairs - it was like the girl weighed as much as a feather. Sighing heavily, knowing she was about to lose an argument and a lot of money, Gale looked up at her friend. Alice was surprised, to say the least. There her usually mature and put together friend sat, soaked to the bone, sitting in the middle of the living room floor at four something in the morning, with a mud covered kitten rolling around in her lap. There were at least seven or eight other kittens of various sizes, all equally coated in mud and scattered about. Some were hiding, their heads sticking out from behind chairs or couches, while others were perched on shelves or the tv. All of them were looking at Alice with a bit more intensity than seemed normal, but the girl didn't notice. She let out a childish squeal and rushed in, snatching up the two kittens perched on the back of the couch, much to their displeasure.

"You found kittens!"

Gale sprung to her feet, dropping the kitten in her lap onto the couch and shaking her head. If kittens were a weakness for her, they were kryptonite to Alice. "No! Absolutely not, we are not keeping them!"

"But you're the one who brought them in!" Alice protested, cradling the two kittens close to her chest in an attempt to look cute, while the other kittens looked on in a mixture of confusion, annoyance, and amusement.

"I didn't bring them in, they let themselves in." Gale corrected firmly, determined not to give in to Alice this time. "Alice, we can't keep them. There have to be at least eight of them, do you have any idea how expensive it is to take care of that many cats? Food and beds and bowls and collars - no, I'm not doing it. I'm not spending all my hard earned money on a bunch of strays."

"But don't you think they're adorable?" Alice shoved the larger kitten into Gale's hands, ignoring the sputtered protests.

"I think they're filthy - Alice, stop. Get that thing away from me. Alice, please, we can't keep them - even if this kitten has the most gorgeous eyes I've ever seen." The cat stiffened in her hands, and Gale stared down at it, resisting the urge to groan. He really did have beautiful eyes, even if they were odd; he seemed to have bright green pupils and dark red irises. She'd never seen anything like it before, but she immediately regretted saying something. She'd shown weakness, and now Alice was going in for the kill.

"Gale, you know what'll happen if we send them to the pound. They'll be put down!" All the kittens straightened instantly, and one or two even hissed, as if they understood the conversation. "You don't want them to be killed, do you? And we can't just leave them outside - they'll get eaten or run over or mauled or shot at or they'll starve! They need someone to clean them and warm them up and give them food. Please, please, please, can't we just take care of them for a little bit until we're sure they're healthy, please?"

Gale made the mistake of looking Alice in the eyes. They were welling up with tears, and Gale knew for a fact they were fake - no one could cry on command better than Alice - but it still made her wince. She looked down at the gorgeous eyed kitten, and said weakly, "I can't afford you."

There was a low hiss from a kitten perched on the t.v., and quite reluctantly, gorgeous eyes began to purr. Gale broke. "Damn it, you're paying for everything they need!"

Alice's crocodile tears cleared up instantly and she grinned triumphantly. She was the only person either of them knew who could get away with gloating at Gale without being threatened with bodily harm, and she took full advantage of it. Alice lifted her kitten into the air, staring at it while it squirmed, and said, "They need baths."

Gale almost groaned again. She knew from experience how painful bathing kittens was, but they really didn't have a choice. She ran a hand through her hair, and instantly regretted it. Her hair was soaked and freezing, and her hand was muddy. She was going to have to change, and take a shower, and clean up the muddy mess in the living room, and feed the cats . . .

"Alright, listen up, little guys." Gale ordered, setting gorgeous eyes down on the coffee table. She was kind of surprised when they all looked at her, as if they were really listening. She shrugged it off, they probably just liked the sound of her voice. "We need to get you guys clean and warm so you don't get sick and die, or get mud all over the house. I'm going to change into something that isn't freezing, and you - " she pointed a finger at Alice, " - are going to find a box, put the kittens in it, and take them in the kitchen so we can wash them two at a time."

"You got it, boss lady. Oh, this is going to be hard, maybe I should've just asked for one. Nah, that's ridiculous, I could never choose."

Gale just rolled her eyes and headed upstairs, leaving Alice to carry out a conversation with herself. She'd been doing it since she could talk, so Gale was used to the quirk. In Gale's opinion, naming a blonde Alice was just asking for a quirky kid - especially if you let Alice In Wonderland be their favorite bedtime story. Gale stepped into her room, which was impeccably tidy, and peeled her clothes off. Damn, she'd fallen asleep in her work clothes; if they were ruined she was kicking some kitty butt. She tossed the dripping clothes into her hamper and plucked the first pair of shorts and a tank top she found out of her pajama drawer. She spent an unnecessary amount of time putting them on, because she didn't want to help Alice put the kittens in a box. After washing her hands and rinsing her hair in the bathroom sink, she decided she'd stalled long enough and trodded back down the stairs.

The stairs took her to a little hallway, which had a door to the half bathroom, a very large closet, the trapdoor to the attic, and lead out to the living room at the back of the house. She took a left at the end of the hall and went straight into the kitchen through one of its two arch doorways. Alice stood by the sink, smiling victoriously at a large cardboard box that barely fit on the counter. She was still holding the kitten from earlier - at least, she thought it was the same kitten. They were all mud brown so it was a little hard to tell.

"You're filthy. Don't forget to take a bath after this." Gale was always acting like a mom, but really, if she didn't remind Alice to wash off the dirt after doing whatever it was she did with her plants the girl would have flowers growing out of her hair. Alice just rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm not a plant, I can't live in the dirt. Pick a kitten already, there are ten of them." Alice said as if having ten freaking cats was completely normal and not a nightmare in progress. There wasn't much Gale could do about it now, though, so she leaned over the box and stared at the nine remaining occupants. Gorgeous eyes was busy batting at one of his hissing kitty buddies, and she didn't want to stick her hand in the middle of that, so she decided against grabbing him.

"Well, any volunteers?" One little kitten strolled right up to the edge of the box and meowed softly at her. She smiled and scooped the little girl up. "Aren't you sweet."

Another kitten meowed and dashed up to the side of the box, jumping so he could see what the girls were doing. Gale laughed as she cradled the kitten in one hand, turning her side of the sink on and checking the temperature. "Relax, little guy, your girlfriend is in good hands."

The fighting stopped abruptly as all the other kittens turned to look oddly at boyfriend kitty. He let out a low growl and soon they all found themselves intensely interesting in examining the box. It seemed weird to her - maybe he was alpha kitty? Did cats have alphas? Maybe they were a pride. Alice, who had already filled her side of the double sink and was rinsing off her kitten, made a little excited noise.

"Gale, look, he's a chimera!"

Gale set her kitten in the sink and began scrubbing the dirt off, surprised to find she wasn't bit or clawed or hissed at once. She figured Alice was just exaggerating the cats markings or a case of heterochromia or something, so she only gave her a side glance - and then did a double take. The kitten was half black and half white - split straight down the center with eerie symmetry.

"He is a chimera - I've never seen one so perfect before."

"That's his name - Chimera. Two pretty kitties in one." Alice declares as she cuddles the cat in a towel.

"Don't go picking favorites already, the others still need to be washed - huh." Gale blinked as the mud came off of her kitten to reveal another unusual fur color.

"What?" Alice asked, giving Chimera a kiss on the head before setting him down on the floor. "You stay in here, Chimera, we don't want you getting all muddy in the living room again."

He meowed for the first time, and Alice could've sworn he had two voices. She brushed the ridiculous thought off and went to lean on her sink and watch Gale.

"Well, I think this little gal is a Russian Blue - emphasis on the blue." Gale held the kitten up, showing off the purplish blue fur. "I thought someone dyed her, but it doesn't wash out and there's no way you could use real hair dye on a kitten. Her coats way too even, too."

"Maybe someone dumped them because they're oddballs." Alice suggested with a shrug. She couldn't imagine abandoning an animal for any reason, but some people were just heartless.

"Well, in that case, they're idiots, this cat is absolutely gorgeous." As Gale began drying her off, she noticed a little pale white spot behind one of her ears. It was vaguely flower shaped. "I think we should call this one Persephone. What better title for such a pretty little thing than Goddess of Spring? Seph for short though."

She passed Persephone to Alice, who plopped her down next to Chimera, who surprisingly continued to sit perfectly still at their feet. Gale picked up the kitten who had been watching them wash Seph and eyed him for a moment, noting he had lavender eyes, before passing him to Alice. "And I guess that makes this little guy her husband, Hades."

If either of them had looked down, they'd have noticed Persephone hiding her face beneath her paw. Neither of the women noticed, however, and Alice nodded in agreement as she stuck Hades in the water. "Our little God of the Underworld, perfect. It's too bad he isn't a black kitty, though, I think it would've fit better. Looks like this guy's an orange tabby."

Gale reached into the box and plucked out the next kitten, holding it up by the scruff of its neck. She was pretty sure he was scowling at her, if that was something cats could do. Unlike the first three, which appeared to be domestic short hairs - though maybe Seph was a medium hair, she wasn't sure - this one seemed to be more fur than cat.

"You sure do have some blue eyes there, hun. Let's see what all that fur looks like." Gale stuck him in the water, and realized it was going to take about twice as long to get the mud off of this one. He growled and spat, but he didn't put up much of a fight, he just seemed to be complaining.

Alice deposited Hades on the ground and grabs another kitten from the box. He immediately hisses and sinks his claws into her hand, and with a high pitched shriek, she tosses him into the sink. "Ow, ow, ow!"

Rolling her eyes, Gale reached over with one hand and thumped the kitten on the head. "Don't be a little bitch, kitty, we're helping."

She was almost positive the kitten she was scrubbing down laughed. Hades hissed, and Gale was almost certain he was really alpha kitty because once Alice recovered from the attack and started washing him, he stayed quiet. Gale wrapped the long haired kitten in a towel, and nudged Alice with her elbow. "Look, we've got another blondie in the house."

"Don't call me blondie! And don't call him blondie either, the poor thing." Alice insisted, wrapping her own struggling kitten in a towel. "His hair is even prettier than mine. It's kind of yellow too - like woven sunshine. And there's so much of it too, what is he, a Maine Coon?"

Gale snorted and plopped blondie down on the ground. "Woven sunshine? Are you reading poetry before bed again? That does give me an idea for a name though, Apollo."

"Ooh, that's the perfect name for him. I was thinking this guy - " Alice held up her kitten to show off its pure white coat and curled ears, "Could be Osiris."

"That's the Egyptian God that got chopped into pieces and put back together, right? That's cool."

The rest of the kittens were washed and named without much trouble. A pure black one with bright red eyes was quickly named Void. The next one, one of the two biggest kittens, was a surprising shade of blue with big black eyes. After Gale shot down names like "Periwinkle" and "Jaws," he was named Murray - it meant sea warrior. A fluffy red kitten with brown eyes was named Cardinal, and the most energetic of the ten was named Hyperion. He could sort of be described as in inverted Siamese - rather than a white body with a black face, Hyperion was black with a rusty orange face and ears. Gorgeous eyes turned out to be a big dark brown and black tabby. Gale quickly named him Beau, to Alice and Osiris' great amusement. Once all ten kittens were clean, dry, and sitting on the kitchen floor, the girls started digging through the cupboards and fridge for food and bowls.

"What do you think we should give them?" Alice asks, her head in the fridge.

Gale shrugs as she fills two bowls with water and sets them on the ground. "Dunno. Not my chicken though, it's my favorite, and that salami was expensive."

After a brief conversation with herself, Alice grabs the ham and shreds it into small pieces on a paper plate. Once satisfied with her work, she drops it onto the ground, and Osiris and Apollo immediately dig in. After they were sure the meat was edible, the other kittens joined in.

Alice put her hands on her hips and smiled. "Baths and feeding done! And it looks like the sun is coming up. Guess we should take showers now, I'm covered in mud and fur."

Gale glances at her, and then bolts from the room. From halfway up the stairs she shouts, "Dibs on the big shower!"

"Gale, no fair, you have a shower in your room!" Alice whined, taking off after her.

The kittens were left alone. Hades lifted his head, waiting a moment to be sure neither of them would come running back in, and then leapt onto the kitchen chair.

"Meeting." He hissed, "Now."

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><p>I know, I know, this ridiculous idea has been done millions of times, but to be honest, Akatsuki kitten fics are a serious guilty pleasure of mine, and I've been having such terrible writer's block lately, so I thought I'd write something silly with my old favorite villains.<p>

For quick reference: Pein is Hades; Konan is Persephone or Seph; Itachi is Void; Kisame is Murray or Ray; Zetsu is Chimera; Tobi is Hyperion; Deidara is Apollo; Sasori is Cardinal; Hidan is Osiris; Kakuzu is Beau.


	2. No Seriously, Where Are We?

**Disclaimer: **All things Naruto belong to Masashi Kishimoto.

**Note:** May contain hints of Kakuzu/OC, Zetsu/OC, and Pein/Konan.

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><p>Konan leapt onto the chair and sat at Pein's side; the pair sat with regal grace, skillfully ignoring the possible unaddressed feelings between them as well as the natural desire to panic. The others formed a clumsy half circle around the chair, partners shifting instinctively to stand by each other. Pein closed his eyes and took a deep breath as the group broke into chaotic conversation, trying to block them out and think. He didn't have answers for the questions he was being bombarded with - just more questions. Particularly ones involving his tiny kitten body, which was clearly modeled after his Path and not his true body; at least he could be thankful for that. He didn't know what could have gone wrong, none of them did, but he was starting to suspect some serious translation errors had been made. In hindsight, he supposed it wasn't one of their greatest plans, but all great evil organizations had their hiccups. He felt a soft tap on his paw and glanced at Konan. He could see the concern in her eyes, gently and silently asking if he was alright. Pein gave a short nod, and turned his attention to the other members.<p>

Though they'd given up on questioning their leader when it became clear he wasn't listening, they were still making an alarming amount of noise. Hidan and Kakuzu were having some sort of stand off, crouched low to the ground with their ears flat and their fur standing on end. They were alternating between an actual argument and flat out hissing at each other. Deidara was screaming at Tobi for biting his tail, but was being mostly ignored while Tobi bounced around. Zetsu was having a very heated argument with himself - White Zetsu seemed to be trying to say things weren't that bad, but Black Zetsu was having none of it. The last three weren't making much noise, and it was even more concerning than the fighting. Sasori was just sitting there, staring at his own paw with an unreadable expression and occasionally shifting uncomfortably. Kisame appeared to be concerned about something serious; he kept whispering to Itachi and nudging at him, only to receive little response.

"That's enough. Pointless bickering won't do you any good." Pein ordered; he paused to make sure everyone stopped to listen, and then continued. "Our first priority is to find out where we are. We will discuss our . . . predicament further once our location is secure."

There was a series of excepting grunts and nods - except for Hidan, who wanted to know just how the fuck they were going to do that. He was promptly shut up by a thump and a few sharp words from Kakuzu, and Deidara spoke up.

"What about the women, hm?"

"They seem harmless enough. Watch them, but don't give them reason to distrust or dislike you. We require shelter in these forms; don't forget that." And with that Pein leapt down and trotted off, head low. He didn't like the feel of things here - the chakra was thin and somehow different, it didn't seem to flow right. No matter how hard he focused, he couldn't gather any of it, either. Konan left after him, heading straight for a very large bookshelf in the living room and making her way to the top of it; she was too deep in thought to explore.

The others shared awkward looks before they separated, most of them wandering off in pairs with the exception of Tobi who bolted out of the room and vanished, and Zetsu, who wandered off down a hallway.

Hidan took off next, with Kakuzu close behind to run damage control. He immediately found something he could reach - in this case, a beat up photo album on the bottom shelf of the bookcase - and knocked it over.

"Hidan." Kakuzu growled in warning, "If you - "

"Yeah, yeah." Hidan said dismissively, batting and swatting at the cover until he managed to pull it open, "I won't fuck up any of your girlfriend's shit, _Beau_. What the fuck is that thing?"

Kakuzu was tempted to find out if Hidan was still immortal as a cat. Instead he moved closer and frowned at the photo album, just as confused by a lot of the images as Hidan was. Some of them seemed normal, but others included strange technology, odd poses, and odder clothing. Just where the hell were they? Judging by the landscape in most of the photos, he'd have guessed the Land of Fire, but something seemed wrong.

Instead of leaving the kitchen, Itachi chose to inspect it, and hopped onto the counter - only to slide into what seemed to be a coffee can full of coins. Kisame followed, though he landed perfectly. "You alright, Itachi?"

"I'm fine." Itachi said shortly, bothered and a little embarrassed. He'd meant to land next to the can, but his eyesight was blurred, in addition to having to adjust to what the world looked like to a cat. One of the women, Gale he thought, had said his eyes were red, despite the distinct lack of Sharingan in this form. He would just have to assume she was right, because red didn't seem to be a color he could see anymore.

"You mean you're blind." Kisame corrected, padding away from his partner to eye the stove. Itachi glared in his direction before shoving the can upright again and slowly putting the coins back; not having hands was so far the worst part of this. Kisame was undaunted as he pushed the timer button. "This is one fancy oven - I've never seen one without knobs before. And there aren't any burners. Does the flat part just heat up?"

"Hn." Itachi mumbled around a coin. Kisame had a point. The kitchen was full of technology, and while most of it was recognizable, it was all extremely advanced. Granted, Hidden Villages were mostly self sufficient and cut off from a lot of modern technology, but this stuff seemed beyond even big city standards. It was all too smooth and compact, like they'd jumped a few decades into the future. Well, he supposed at this point that was a possibility.

Deidara and Sasori, meanwhile, had failed to even make it to the doorway; they were too occupied being confused. Deidara because Sasori was acting strange, and Sasori because he was _alive_. Not just a beating heart, but flesh and blood and sensation, and it had been years since he'd felt the warmth of his own body or the chill of the floor beneath his feet - er, paws. It wasn't exactly easy to walk, either - he'd forgotten how different it felt to move a body that wasn't mostly wood. Deidara was circling him with ease, which didn't exactly please him, either.

"Danna, are you okay, hm? You seem kinda off." Deidara reached out with one paw and pushed on Sasori's shoulder.

Sasori leaned away from the touch and, to his absolute horror, flopped over onto his side. There was a moment of silence. Sasori glared. Deidara choked. The teen just didn't have the self control, or the sense of self preservation, to stop himself. He burst out laughing, and Sasori hissed.

"Shut it, brat, or - "

"Or what? Can you even _walk_, hm?" Deidara was still laughing. Sasori stood up, and made a terrifying feline sound. Deidara stopped laughing abruptly, and bolted.

They made approximately zero progress in finding out where they were, though Hidan and Kakuzu discovered Gale and Alice were childhood friends and took far too many pictures, Kisame figured out how to burn himself with the oven, and Itachi learned how to turn it off. They all ended up in the living room, either lounging on the couch or pawing through the photos, trying to decide where they were supposed to go from here. They heard the faintest sound of footsteps on the stairway, someone rummaging around in the storage closet, and then Alice came strolling in, a broom over her shoulder and a bucket swinging at her side.

"Hello, kittens." She said cheerfully, dropping the bucket and mop to scratch Pein behind the ear. Hidan and Deidara snickered, but he kept his head held high and ignored them. Alice didn't notice and went right back to what she was doing. "I'm going to clean up the mud in here. It's important we're very nice to Gale, because she's going to have to spend a lot of money on you guys today, and spending money makes Gale very grumpy."

The cleaning went by quickly and uneventfully, except for when Tobi latched on to the mop and was nearly dunked in the bucket. Gale had yet to reappear by the time Alice had put away the cleaning supplies, so she started towards her garden room, petting Zetsu - who was sitting on the back of the couch - as she passed.

"Maybe I should make her breakfast too. I better tend to the garden first, though."

Zetsu perked up and then jumped down, trodding after her curiously. Alice noticed and smiled, bending down to scoop him up. "Did you want to see my garden, little guy?"

"Yes. **That's why I'm following you, idiot.**"

Alice, who only heard meowing, just smiled wider as she walked off with him, conversation trailing down the hall. "You'll love it, I've got the most beautiful babies. And no matter what Gale says, I promise they won't eat you."

There was a little bit of curiosity about what kind of plants Alice was growing that Gale thought could eat them, but not enough that anyone else wanted to risk her being right. They had other things to do, anyway.

"Kakuzu. I want you to stick to Gale. She's clearly rather fond of you." Pein started.

"Yeah, I'll say." Hidan snorted.

"And the rest of us - " Pein continued sharply, before Hidan could start a fight, "Are going to search the upper level of the house. Itachi, Sasori, stay here."

Itachi and Sasori both nodded. Neither would want to admit it, but they probably couldn't have made it up the stairs. Most of the others were a bit reluctant to do more searching, but there wasn't anything else to do anyway, so they all started the climb up the spiral staircase, Deidara complaining about Itachi getting to lay around most of the way. When they reached the top, Kakuzu immediately walked up to the bathroom - it was the only closed door and he could hear Gale humming - and scratched at it, while the others scattered to search the four bedrooms. The door popped open and Kakuzu squeezed in, quickly finding himself a place to sit on the back of the toilet. Gale shut the door behind him and scratched his head, apparently pleased to see him.

"Hey there, Beau."

Kakuzu didn't know whether to be pleased or annoyed with the affection. On one hand, it was demeaning, and on the other, it actually felt very nice. He battled with his instinct to purr until turned her attention back to getting ready for the day, and he spent the next half hour or so watching her straighten her hair and complain about expenses and work and housemates who spend more than they made. He was very sympathetic.

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><p>Itachi is having health problems and Sasori doesn't know how to feel about being all fleshy again, oh dear. People never seem to address the fact Sasori has to get used to feeling things normally again after years of puppetness in these fics but I bet it's not easy. I'll probably alternate between real names and cat names depending on who the chapter is focusing on.<p>

I am kind of disappointed in myself for not thinking of Quasar or Pulsar myself, damn. It seems my Percy Jackson fan is showing - oops! Though in my defense, I was a mythology nut way before I read Rick Riordan books. Alice though, definitely a fan, especially of the Kane Chronicles. I peg Gale as more of a Sherrilyn Kenyon girl, to be honest.

For quick reference: Pein is Hades; Konan is Persephone or Seph; Itachi is Void; Kisame is Murray or Ray; Zetsu is Chimera; Tobi is Hyperion; Deidara is Apollo; Sasori is Cardinal; Hidan is Osiris; Kakuzu is Beau.

**** Note:** Alice is 26, Gale is 28. Also, no one asked, but Alice works at a large nursery called Forever In Bloom and Gale is a bank teller at Zeller's Bank. Can't let myself forget I named those places already.


End file.
